The Monster vs Mario Valenzuela

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Very early 82' L.A wrestling"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Another of those "often discussed, rarely seen" gimmicks, The Monster was a misguided, wrong-footed and short-lived attempt to revive the ailing Los Angeles promotion run by Mike LeBelle. Winner of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter's inaugural "Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic", The Monster was introduced with a series of vignettes and hype claiming that this wrestler was a genuine Frankenstein's monster, made in a lab from parts of cadavers. The only thing dead in the end was the promotion itself, shortly after the Monster disappeared.

Poem: "The Jobber"

Originally published in the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, 8th August, 1988.


The Jobber
I was at home with my wife watching TV,
When the telephone rang and the call was for me.
That very next night in Nashville, Tennessee
They wanted me to do a job on national TV.

I'd make $65, the going rate for chumps,
It was clearly understood that I'd be taking all the bumps,
So I told their stooge that I would be there,
He said "thanks very much," but I knew he didn't care.

Got all of my gear and packed my bag,
That ride the next day would be such a drag,
Left my house at four so I wouldn't be late,
Then started hauling ass up the interstate.

Stopped at a store to hear, "which one are you?"
Those idiot marks just didn't have a clue,
If I was Hogan or Savage, they wouldn't have to ask,
But I'm only a jobber, with a lowly wrestling task.

Arrived at the building and walked to the stage door,
And got cussed out by a rat, such a pitiful whore,
As I headed to the heels dressing room,
My ego felt shattered, for a faced certain doom.

Strut into the room and forced a fake smile,
"How ya been doing brother, haven't seen you in a while,"
Found me a spot and started getting ready
I was sweating like hell but my nerves held steady.

Up walked the booker to give me the finish,
As I felt my pride so painfully diminish,
He wanted us to do the "old Pearl Harbor,"
The face would make the comeback, I'd end up the jobber.

Then the bell rang, my match was up first,
I was suddenly stricken with a bad case of thirst,
"First match get out there," the bookers' voice did hiss
I was busy taking my third nervous piss.

So I stomped to the ring to the sound of jeers,
Then out waltzed the baby to a round of rousing cheers,
I'm a pretty tough dude who can kick some bass,
Too bad I don't fit in with the front office brass.

I'd take decs and D-Bol and some Winstrol V,
If only the pencil would do something with me,
My name was announced to the deafening boos,
As I envied my opponent, cause he wasn't gonna lose.

All went as planned, and well, "that was that,"
My shoulders got pinned in the middle of the mat,
TV matches are short, and this was no exception,
I stormed back to the room feeling total dejection.

Took a hot shower and washed off the seat,
I'd be back on the road, they'd be taking a jet,
Said bye to the boys and then to the booker,
I had turned my trick like a 300 pound hooker.

Oh how I wanted that booker to clobber,
But had to keep my cool, I was only a jobber,
Don't get me wrong, no apology was needed,
I made the babyface look good, so I totally succeeded.

Drove back down the interstate guzzling a beer,
Would I always be a jobber, what an agonizing fear?
But deep down I know all that really matters, you see,
Is that I play my role well, and am very proud of me.

Phantasio - the pirate of men's pants

Phantasio WWF Debut
Uploaded by TSteck160. - Basketball, baseball, pro wrestling and more sports videos.

Phantasio is what happens when you take a gimmick that works in Memphis (The Spellbinder, an evil magician character) and you put him on a bigger stage and try to "pep" up the idea a bit. So instead of just a wrestler who dabbles in the dark arts, you have a guy pulling silver string out of his mouth and winning matches by REMOVING HIS OPPONENT'S UNDIES.

His one and only televised appearance.

TA-GAR Lord of the Volcano

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Maybe it's not the worst gimmick but it's gotta be up there. Ta-Gar: Lord of the Volcano debut video. He's a masked man that has flames coming out of his fingertips. He faces Bill Dundee in his debut. Ta-Gar only lasted a couple weeks in Memphis and i'm not sure who was under the mask."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: This is one of those gimmicks that i'd read about in my youth, had seen photos of, but never seen 'in action'. Safe to say, it does not disappoint.

Wrestling bears~!

Wrestling formerly being a weekly attraction in most towns within the Unites States, often called on some more unusual gimmicks to get people through the gates. Often they would be things like "Death matches" or "Cage matches", or lady wrestlers and midgets wrestlers. One staple of the olden times however was the Wrestling BEAR.

I have to say that one of the worst matches I ever saw involved a bear, but it did draw the crowds, so what can I say.
Anyway, here are some matches of man and bear....


Gordon Solie: "550 pounds of supple muscle..."


The Destroyer commentates his own bout against Viktor the wrestling bear.


Terrible Ted, probably the most famous wrestling bear. Terry Funk once famously painted Ted white after the athletic commission said "you can't bring Terrible Ted to the building", so Frosty the Polar Bear turned up as a substitute.


Promo involving Ginger the Bear, sadly no, the bear does not talk.


Some old footage of the Bear taking on ALL COMERS.

The won't let me embed the worst one i've seen, but this might be it here. (No disrespect intended to the late Mr Hart)
BEAR IN A CAGE

I am disappointed I could not locate any footage of Gentleman Ben, perhaps the best named of all the bears.

Wrestling music videos and intros

These days, the music video or hype video is essential to building up a big match on pa-per-view. Or the weekly tv show. Or a DVD release. Or a video game release. Or... well, you get the drift. They do so many now, they tend to lose their impact. I think the UFC still does them well, and they have to, because building up fights is the name of the game.

Anyway, before I digress into a curmudgeonly state, I wanted to go back. Back to when the music video was a new phenomenon.
And pro wrestling was quick to realise that the format made for a great way to package the company's overall product, or highlight a particular wrestler or team of wrestlers. Here are some of the more memorable ones from days gone by....


World Class Championship Wrestling



Pro Wrestling Illustrated - Lords of the Ring


Memphis Wrestling - Jerry Lawler "Glory Days"


Memphis Wrestling - The Fabulous Ones


The Road Warriors (doing their own singing!)


Memphis Wrestling - Rock 'n Roll Express


One of the greatest.....Memphis Wrestling - The "New" Fabulous ones (actually the Bruise Brothers.... just keep watching)

AND JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT, OLD SCHOOL INTROS


WWF Coliseum Home Video Intro


WWF Coliseum Home Video Intro (2nd version)


WWF - Saturday Night's Main Event intro (original)


WWF - Saturday Night's Main Event intro (2nd version)


WWF- Superstars of Wrestling (special nostalgia for those of us from New Zealand)


This was the 2nd Superstars of Wrestling theme, shortly before the show was taken off the air in NZ.


World Class Championship Wrestling - Championship Sports intro


Georgia Championship Wrestling intro (the original GCW)


AWA All Star Wrestling intro ("....Japan.....Australia....."


NWA JCP - World Wide Wrestling


NWA New Zealand - On The Mat (Here's a REAL piece of Kiwi nostalgia)


Southwest championship Wrestling intro


....and a newer one, WWE's "Desire"

Special shout out to the crew at IPW New Zealand, their intro for their TV show "IPW Ignition" is bang on the money.

Roddy Piper gets ribbed in his WWWF debut

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Clip of Roddy Piper's WWF TV debut from 1979"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: This is Piper's debut TV appearance for the latter-day WWE, at the time called the WWWF. Before he takes on regular enhancement talent Steve King, Piper attempts to plays his set of bagpipes.

I say attempts, because as you will see, he doesn't make a very good job of it. That's because, as Piper discovered afterward, that "Classy" Freddie Blassie had cheekily stuffed the pipes with toilet paper, preventing them from functioning properly. Roddy Piper was not impressed and only stayed around for one more match, not returning until 1984 when he was truly "Hot Rod".