Sid Vicious vs The Night Stalker

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Clash 13- Sid Vicious vs Nightstalker- Freebirds Interview and Missy Hyatt Promo. This match is universally considered one of the worst matches in the history of professional wrestling"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Part of the WCW "Clash Of The Champions XIII" event, the numbering proving indeed unlucky, for the viewer who tuned their television in or showed up to watch this. The Night Stalker later wrestled as "Adam Bomb" and "Wrath" but here he has just started. He doesn't seem to understand the point of selling moves. Or how to run the ropes. There is a very long bear cuddle. The crowd turns on the match after 4 minutes of non-action. The Big Cat (Mr Hughes in red underpants) does a run-in. More of jog-in. Jim Ross calls the Night Stalker's prop axe "that metal club thing". The referee allows blatant interference and the use of foreign objects without disqualifying anything.

This match truly has everything. Everything that is awful and nothing that is good. Bless.

Jeep Swenson vs Jeff Raitz & Dusty Wolfe

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Massive Jeep Swenson dominates jobbers Jeff Raitz & Dusty Wolfe in a handicap match. Enjoy!"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Swenson died young. Raitz died young. Dusty Wolfe had a long career wrestling in many countries, usually on the losing end. So it's not all bad.

BONUS! JEEP SWENSON BATTLES RISING GAS PRICES AND ENGINE MANAGEMENT IN THIS AD:

The Powers of Pain vs Bob Emery & Chance McQuade

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Chance McQuade teams with Bob Emery to tackle the awesome Warlord & Barbarian in 1988."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: This match introduces the POP's manager "The Baron" who was Baron Von Raschke, a long time veteran of the squared circle. I thought he was cool at the time (I was 9) but he wasn't around for long. The Powers of Pain always looked good in matches where they didn't have to take any offensive moves from their opponents.

p.s. "Chance McQuade" surely must be the handle of a Chuck Norris-themed porno actor.

"The Natural" Butch Reed & The One Man Gang vs Ricky Hunter & W.D. Wellington

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "he Natural Butch Reed teams with Stable mate the One Man Gang in this classic bout against Rick Hunter & W.D. Wellington in 1987."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: As a summation, "Classic bout" is perhaps going too far. Like from Tasmania to Alaska too far. Ricky Hunter worked for years as the masked Gladiator. And even though he takes a beating in this encounter, it pales compared to the effort of one W.D. Wellington, who is first ridiculed for his certainly unique look, then is pummeled by the dancing Slickster's men. As Vince McMahon puts it "they'll be scraping him off the canvas for quite a while".

"Outlaw" Ron Bass vs "Cowboy" Frankie Lane

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "The Outlaw vs the Cowboy Frankie Lane 1987"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Frankie Lane was at one time NWA World Tag Team champion with none other than George "the Animal" Steele. That's quite the combo. Here though, poor ol Frankie is beat like a government mule, or like the hapless soul in the bar at the start of a western film, as the mean old Outlaw asserts his evil ways. Even Gorilla Monsoon verbally puts the boots to the Cowboy.

The Tiger vs Jerry Adams

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Dom DeLouise look a like Jerry Adams takes on the mysterious Tiger in 1985."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Mr Adams looks like a guy who drives the school bus, and I bet he had a rough week following this, having all the 'lil bassdards' taunt him for losnig to a man in a leopard print outfit, called "the Tiger", doing a "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka imitation. The Tiger also offers Mr Adams a deep tissue massage at 2:10 which is an unusual way to be cruel to be kind.

Dick Murdoch's ring entrance (sans gruts)

DESCRIPTION FROM YOURS TRULY: "As Dick Murdoch approaches the ring, watch what he does right before he gets into the ring. I've been trying to find out whether or not this was related to some kind of a rib."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: What can you say about Dick Murdoch that he didn't say himself? The man loved to entertain. I need to find footage of the bit he would do where he'd get kicked in the guts, clutch his stomach, wander off to the back, then return several minutes later with toilet paper stuck to his boot.

Don Muraco eating donuts

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "WWF promo from the 80s...Don Muraco and Ken Patera talk about their training regimens...Don Muraco's involves donuts."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Mr Muraco, you are a great man.

Giant Baba vs. Raja Lion

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "1987/6/9日本武道館" (Erm, great)

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Raja Lion I do not know, but he is very, very tall, and resembles one of the bad guys from "Bloodsport" - maybe not the original, but one of the straight-to-video sequels. His move is the kick, although the second time he tries to do the kick, he falls down.

Mulkeymania~! feat. Bill & Randy Mulkey vs The Gladiators

First, a promo from one of the legendary managers, James E. Cornette....



DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "August 8, 1987 from World Championship Wrestling - Jim Cornette and his Midnight Express take the podium to express their contempt for the Mulkey Brothers, who have managed to secure a match for the NWA United States Tag Team Titles. Actually, Cornette does all the talking while Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane stand between him and camera congratulating each other."


And now, one of those very rare moments in the life of "those guys that never win" that people remember for decades afterward:



One day the Creamy Assassin or Perky Birky the Bricklaying Turkey might even win too.

Big John Studd vs Mitch Casey

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "1989. One of Studds last WWF matches."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Mitch Casey may not be preserved in history the way Iron Mike Sharpe, Barry Horowitz, Sandy Beach, et al have been, but this guy showed up on my TV set pretty much every week during my years of watching Superstars of Wrestling. Being a younger fellow, he had a look of hope in his eye before every match, in which he was squashed like a grape. I wonder what ever happened to him?

Masked Superstar vs Chuck Tanner

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "WWF 1983. The Future Demolition Ax takes on Chuck Tanner."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Mr Tanner took a night off his job as a member of an NRBQ cover band to get his rear end handed to him by the Masked Superstar - who was also Bolo Mongol and Demolition Ax, a man who portrayed three cool characters in the squared circle. Tanner even gets the crowd's support for an attempted comeback, such is the awesomeness of Mr Superstar.

Rocky Mountain Thunder vs The Surfer

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "The Surfer vs Rocky Mountain Thunder March14,1988"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: If Lou Thesz considered Hulk Hogan to be "a non-wrestler" imagine how he would describe Rocky Mountain Thunder, who appears to be a large man someone saw at a truck stop and convinced to get in a wrestling ring. Egad.

But on the upside, this match has all the ingredients for "so bad it's almost good" - Contradictory information between the graphics and the ring announcer. The job guy has a gimmick (despite not having the gimmick, i.e. a surfboard, surf clothes, anything vaguely surfing-related). Ron Trongard and Lee Marshall commentating. Blown moves. A finish out of nowhere. It's quite the 3:49.

Bless.

Hulk Hogan vs Rusty Brooks

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "WWF Champion takes on Rusty Brooks in a non-title match on Superstars. 1985"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Sadly, this video does not include the pre-match promo from Mr Brooks where claims he's "just thisclose (holds fingers very close together) to that World's championship belt". Rusty had talent, but well, you can see what he looks like (and what IS he wearing?). A lot of fun, nonetheless.