The Monster vs Mario Valenzuela

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Very early 82' L.A wrestling"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Another of those "often discussed, rarely seen" gimmicks, The Monster was a misguided, wrong-footed and short-lived attempt to revive the ailing Los Angeles promotion run by Mike LeBelle. Winner of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter's inaugural "Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic", The Monster was introduced with a series of vignettes and hype claiming that this wrestler was a genuine Frankenstein's monster, made in a lab from parts of cadavers. The only thing dead in the end was the promotion itself, shortly after the Monster disappeared.

Poem: "The Jobber"

Originally published in the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, 8th August, 1988.


The Jobber
I was at home with my wife watching TV,
When the telephone rang and the call was for me.
That very next night in Nashville, Tennessee
They wanted me to do a job on national TV.

I'd make $65, the going rate for chumps,
It was clearly understood that I'd be taking all the bumps,
So I told their stooge that I would be there,
He said "thanks very much," but I knew he didn't care.

Got all of my gear and packed my bag,
That ride the next day would be such a drag,
Left my house at four so I wouldn't be late,
Then started hauling ass up the interstate.

Stopped at a store to hear, "which one are you?"
Those idiot marks just didn't have a clue,
If I was Hogan or Savage, they wouldn't have to ask,
But I'm only a jobber, with a lowly wrestling task.

Arrived at the building and walked to the stage door,
And got cussed out by a rat, such a pitiful whore,
As I headed to the heels dressing room,
My ego felt shattered, for a faced certain doom.

Strut into the room and forced a fake smile,
"How ya been doing brother, haven't seen you in a while,"
Found me a spot and started getting ready
I was sweating like hell but my nerves held steady.

Up walked the booker to give me the finish,
As I felt my pride so painfully diminish,
He wanted us to do the "old Pearl Harbor,"
The face would make the comeback, I'd end up the jobber.

Then the bell rang, my match was up first,
I was suddenly stricken with a bad case of thirst,
"First match get out there," the bookers' voice did hiss
I was busy taking my third nervous piss.

So I stomped to the ring to the sound of jeers,
Then out waltzed the baby to a round of rousing cheers,
I'm a pretty tough dude who can kick some bass,
Too bad I don't fit in with the front office brass.

I'd take decs and D-Bol and some Winstrol V,
If only the pencil would do something with me,
My name was announced to the deafening boos,
As I envied my opponent, cause he wasn't gonna lose.

All went as planned, and well, "that was that,"
My shoulders got pinned in the middle of the mat,
TV matches are short, and this was no exception,
I stormed back to the room feeling total dejection.

Took a hot shower and washed off the seat,
I'd be back on the road, they'd be taking a jet,
Said bye to the boys and then to the booker,
I had turned my trick like a 300 pound hooker.

Oh how I wanted that booker to clobber,
But had to keep my cool, I was only a jobber,
Don't get me wrong, no apology was needed,
I made the babyface look good, so I totally succeeded.

Drove back down the interstate guzzling a beer,
Would I always be a jobber, what an agonizing fear?
But deep down I know all that really matters, you see,
Is that I play my role well, and am very proud of me.

Phantasio - the pirate of men's pants

Phantasio WWF Debut
Uploaded by TSteck160. - Basketball, baseball, pro wrestling and more sports videos.

Phantasio is what happens when you take a gimmick that works in Memphis (The Spellbinder, an evil magician character) and you put him on a bigger stage and try to "pep" up the idea a bit. So instead of just a wrestler who dabbles in the dark arts, you have a guy pulling silver string out of his mouth and winning matches by REMOVING HIS OPPONENT'S UNDIES.

His one and only televised appearance.

TA-GAR Lord of the Volcano

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Maybe it's not the worst gimmick but it's gotta be up there. Ta-Gar: Lord of the Volcano debut video. He's a masked man that has flames coming out of his fingertips. He faces Bill Dundee in his debut. Ta-Gar only lasted a couple weeks in Memphis and i'm not sure who was under the mask."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: This is one of those gimmicks that i'd read about in my youth, had seen photos of, but never seen 'in action'. Safe to say, it does not disappoint.

Wrestling bears~!

Wrestling formerly being a weekly attraction in most towns within the Unites States, often called on some more unusual gimmicks to get people through the gates. Often they would be things like "Death matches" or "Cage matches", or lady wrestlers and midgets wrestlers. One staple of the olden times however was the Wrestling BEAR.

I have to say that one of the worst matches I ever saw involved a bear, but it did draw the crowds, so what can I say.
Anyway, here are some matches of man and bear....


Gordon Solie: "550 pounds of supple muscle..."


The Destroyer commentates his own bout against Viktor the wrestling bear.


Terrible Ted, probably the most famous wrestling bear. Terry Funk once famously painted Ted white after the athletic commission said "you can't bring Terrible Ted to the building", so Frosty the Polar Bear turned up as a substitute.


Promo involving Ginger the Bear, sadly no, the bear does not talk.


Some old footage of the Bear taking on ALL COMERS.

The won't let me embed the worst one i've seen, but this might be it here. (No disrespect intended to the late Mr Hart)
BEAR IN A CAGE

I am disappointed I could not locate any footage of Gentleman Ben, perhaps the best named of all the bears.

Wrestling music videos and intros

These days, the music video or hype video is essential to building up a big match on pa-per-view. Or the weekly tv show. Or a DVD release. Or a video game release. Or... well, you get the drift. They do so many now, they tend to lose their impact. I think the UFC still does them well, and they have to, because building up fights is the name of the game.

Anyway, before I digress into a curmudgeonly state, I wanted to go back. Back to when the music video was a new phenomenon.
And pro wrestling was quick to realise that the format made for a great way to package the company's overall product, or highlight a particular wrestler or team of wrestlers. Here are some of the more memorable ones from days gone by....


World Class Championship Wrestling



Pro Wrestling Illustrated - Lords of the Ring


Memphis Wrestling - Jerry Lawler "Glory Days"


Memphis Wrestling - The Fabulous Ones


The Road Warriors (doing their own singing!)


Memphis Wrestling - Rock 'n Roll Express


One of the greatest.....Memphis Wrestling - The "New" Fabulous ones (actually the Bruise Brothers.... just keep watching)

AND JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT, OLD SCHOOL INTROS


WWF Coliseum Home Video Intro


WWF Coliseum Home Video Intro (2nd version)


WWF - Saturday Night's Main Event intro (original)


WWF - Saturday Night's Main Event intro (2nd version)


WWF- Superstars of Wrestling (special nostalgia for those of us from New Zealand)


This was the 2nd Superstars of Wrestling theme, shortly before the show was taken off the air in NZ.


World Class Championship Wrestling - Championship Sports intro


Georgia Championship Wrestling intro (the original GCW)


AWA All Star Wrestling intro ("....Japan.....Australia....."


NWA JCP - World Wide Wrestling


NWA New Zealand - On The Mat (Here's a REAL piece of Kiwi nostalgia)


Southwest championship Wrestling intro


....and a newer one, WWE's "Desire"

Special shout out to the crew at IPW New Zealand, their intro for their TV show "IPW Ignition" is bang on the money.

Roddy Piper gets ribbed in his WWWF debut

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Clip of Roddy Piper's WWF TV debut from 1979"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: This is Piper's debut TV appearance for the latter-day WWE, at the time called the WWWF. Before he takes on regular enhancement talent Steve King, Piper attempts to plays his set of bagpipes.

I say attempts, because as you will see, he doesn't make a very good job of it. That's because, as Piper discovered afterward, that "Classy" Freddie Blassie had cheekily stuffed the pipes with toilet paper, preventing them from functioning properly. Roddy Piper was not impressed and only stayed around for one more match, not returning until 1984 when he was truly "Hot Rod".

SIR LANNY POFFO

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE:"From October 13, 1984."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Many long-time wrestling fans remember the poetic Mr Poffo as either "Leapin' Lanny Poffo" with his frisbee-throwing entrance, or as the evil Genius, with gown, scroll and Honour Roll moonsault finishing move that was far ahead of its time.

But before that, down in Memphis, Lanny for a while came to the ring as Sir Lanny, complete with suit of armour. Which he wore in a couple of battle royals (one of which he did later in the WWF and it ended up in Home Video form for all posterity).

AWA Team Challenge Series Survival Series Battle Royal August 25, 1990

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "AWA TCS Survival Series Battle Royal August25,1990 Brad Rheingans,Col DeBeers,Hangman Killer,Russian Brute,Curtis Hughes,Wayne Bloom,DJ Peterson(TTc),Johnnie Stewart,Mike
Enos,Trooper(TTc),Unknown Soldier(DeBeers),Jake Milliman"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: When the AWA was on its last legs, they had the idea to have all the 'talent' they had left form into teams and then challenge each other. Unsurprisingly, it was called the Team Challenge Series. Unsurprisingly, nobody was that interested. Surprisingly, nobody was that interested so they took to filming many of the matches in an empty "secret" arena. Surprisingly, the arena was pink. Unsurprisingly, they had many battle royals and wacky gimmick matches. Surprisingly, one of the gimmick matches was a 'turkey on a pole' match. Surprisingly, the turkey was not cooked. Surprisingly, Jake 'the Milkman' Milliman won the 'Turkey on a pole' match. Unsurprisingly, nobody was that interested.

Anyway, here's a battle royal featuring three teams of participants. And what participants they are.

Ted Arcidi is very excited

HUGGIN~! TED ARCIDI... "Mr 705" that's as in 705 lbs. A mere 319 kilograms he was able to lift. Here he lifts a very small wooden table. But you can feel the joy. Or cocaine.

Who can doubt the genius of Mr. Paul Christy?

Mr. Paul Christy, in his first and LAST appearance on WWF's "Tuesday Night Titans" TV show, after imbibing several alcoholic beverages, attempts to combine the disciplines of professional wrestling, magic tricks and hypnotism. He does not succeed. OR DOES HE?

And he owns many apartment buildings.



....and interviewed by perennial World's heavyweight champion, Lou Thesz in this segment. A segment where Mr Christy talks about how to handle a lady, it's okay to elbow her, but don't go hitting her. Then he imitates the Crusher by munching the microphone.

More promo gold

Chief Thunder Mountain and his Native American gutter mouth.


Flapjack Norton eats pancakes!


That's his boy~! His boy he can't remember the name of~!


The best thing about this promo is Don Koss' interview suit. Oh and Scott Doring's lack of neck!


AND NOW


FOR SOMETHING


COMPLETELY BETTER


IT'S.....

DA CRUSHER!!!





BABA IS A COOLIE!

Z-Man vs "Prime Time" Brian Lee

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Clash 13- Brian Lee vs Z-Man- The debut of Primetime Brian Lee in WCW"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: They completely moose a crossbody out of the corner about 2 minutes in and never really get back on the same page after that. Bit of a shame really, although one has to chuckle at Tom Zenk (the Z-Man) doing a no-look crossbody to nobody. Allegedly this was Brian Lee's tryout in WCW and he didn't make it.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous - Wrestling Editions

Mr Perfect on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous



Macho King Randy Savage on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous


Both brilliant

Sid Vicious vs The Night Stalker

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Clash 13- Sid Vicious vs Nightstalker- Freebirds Interview and Missy Hyatt Promo. This match is universally considered one of the worst matches in the history of professional wrestling"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Part of the WCW "Clash Of The Champions XIII" event, the numbering proving indeed unlucky, for the viewer who tuned their television in or showed up to watch this. The Night Stalker later wrestled as "Adam Bomb" and "Wrath" but here he has just started. He doesn't seem to understand the point of selling moves. Or how to run the ropes. There is a very long bear cuddle. The crowd turns on the match after 4 minutes of non-action. The Big Cat (Mr Hughes in red underpants) does a run-in. More of jog-in. Jim Ross calls the Night Stalker's prop axe "that metal club thing". The referee allows blatant interference and the use of foreign objects without disqualifying anything.

This match truly has everything. Everything that is awful and nothing that is good. Bless.

Jeep Swenson vs Jeff Raitz & Dusty Wolfe

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Massive Jeep Swenson dominates jobbers Jeff Raitz & Dusty Wolfe in a handicap match. Enjoy!"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Swenson died young. Raitz died young. Dusty Wolfe had a long career wrestling in many countries, usually on the losing end. So it's not all bad.

BONUS! JEEP SWENSON BATTLES RISING GAS PRICES AND ENGINE MANAGEMENT IN THIS AD:

The Powers of Pain vs Bob Emery & Chance McQuade

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Chance McQuade teams with Bob Emery to tackle the awesome Warlord & Barbarian in 1988."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: This match introduces the POP's manager "The Baron" who was Baron Von Raschke, a long time veteran of the squared circle. I thought he was cool at the time (I was 9) but he wasn't around for long. The Powers of Pain always looked good in matches where they didn't have to take any offensive moves from their opponents.

p.s. "Chance McQuade" surely must be the handle of a Chuck Norris-themed porno actor.

"The Natural" Butch Reed & The One Man Gang vs Ricky Hunter & W.D. Wellington

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "he Natural Butch Reed teams with Stable mate the One Man Gang in this classic bout against Rick Hunter & W.D. Wellington in 1987."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: As a summation, "Classic bout" is perhaps going too far. Like from Tasmania to Alaska too far. Ricky Hunter worked for years as the masked Gladiator. And even though he takes a beating in this encounter, it pales compared to the effort of one W.D. Wellington, who is first ridiculed for his certainly unique look, then is pummeled by the dancing Slickster's men. As Vince McMahon puts it "they'll be scraping him off the canvas for quite a while".

"Outlaw" Ron Bass vs "Cowboy" Frankie Lane

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "The Outlaw vs the Cowboy Frankie Lane 1987"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Frankie Lane was at one time NWA World Tag Team champion with none other than George "the Animal" Steele. That's quite the combo. Here though, poor ol Frankie is beat like a government mule, or like the hapless soul in the bar at the start of a western film, as the mean old Outlaw asserts his evil ways. Even Gorilla Monsoon verbally puts the boots to the Cowboy.

The Tiger vs Jerry Adams

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Dom DeLouise look a like Jerry Adams takes on the mysterious Tiger in 1985."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Mr Adams looks like a guy who drives the school bus, and I bet he had a rough week following this, having all the 'lil bassdards' taunt him for losnig to a man in a leopard print outfit, called "the Tiger", doing a "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka imitation. The Tiger also offers Mr Adams a deep tissue massage at 2:10 which is an unusual way to be cruel to be kind.

Dick Murdoch's ring entrance (sans gruts)

DESCRIPTION FROM YOURS TRULY: "As Dick Murdoch approaches the ring, watch what he does right before he gets into the ring. I've been trying to find out whether or not this was related to some kind of a rib."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: What can you say about Dick Murdoch that he didn't say himself? The man loved to entertain. I need to find footage of the bit he would do where he'd get kicked in the guts, clutch his stomach, wander off to the back, then return several minutes later with toilet paper stuck to his boot.

Don Muraco eating donuts

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "WWF promo from the 80s...Don Muraco and Ken Patera talk about their training regimens...Don Muraco's involves donuts."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Mr Muraco, you are a great man.

Giant Baba vs. Raja Lion

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "1987/6/9日本武道館" (Erm, great)

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Raja Lion I do not know, but he is very, very tall, and resembles one of the bad guys from "Bloodsport" - maybe not the original, but one of the straight-to-video sequels. His move is the kick, although the second time he tries to do the kick, he falls down.

Mulkeymania~! feat. Bill & Randy Mulkey vs The Gladiators

First, a promo from one of the legendary managers, James E. Cornette....



DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "August 8, 1987 from World Championship Wrestling - Jim Cornette and his Midnight Express take the podium to express their contempt for the Mulkey Brothers, who have managed to secure a match for the NWA United States Tag Team Titles. Actually, Cornette does all the talking while Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane stand between him and camera congratulating each other."


And now, one of those very rare moments in the life of "those guys that never win" that people remember for decades afterward:



One day the Creamy Assassin or Perky Birky the Bricklaying Turkey might even win too.

Big John Studd vs Mitch Casey

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "1989. One of Studds last WWF matches."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Mitch Casey may not be preserved in history the way Iron Mike Sharpe, Barry Horowitz, Sandy Beach, et al have been, but this guy showed up on my TV set pretty much every week during my years of watching Superstars of Wrestling. Being a younger fellow, he had a look of hope in his eye before every match, in which he was squashed like a grape. I wonder what ever happened to him?

Masked Superstar vs Chuck Tanner

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "WWF 1983. The Future Demolition Ax takes on Chuck Tanner."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Mr Tanner took a night off his job as a member of an NRBQ cover band to get his rear end handed to him by the Masked Superstar - who was also Bolo Mongol and Demolition Ax, a man who portrayed three cool characters in the squared circle. Tanner even gets the crowd's support for an attempted comeback, such is the awesomeness of Mr Superstar.

Rocky Mountain Thunder vs The Surfer

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "The Surfer vs Rocky Mountain Thunder March14,1988"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: If Lou Thesz considered Hulk Hogan to be "a non-wrestler" imagine how he would describe Rocky Mountain Thunder, who appears to be a large man someone saw at a truck stop and convinced to get in a wrestling ring. Egad.

But on the upside, this match has all the ingredients for "so bad it's almost good" - Contradictory information between the graphics and the ring announcer. The job guy has a gimmick (despite not having the gimmick, i.e. a surfboard, surf clothes, anything vaguely surfing-related). Ron Trongard and Lee Marshall commentating. Blown moves. A finish out of nowhere. It's quite the 3:49.

Bless.

Hulk Hogan vs Rusty Brooks

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "WWF Champion takes on Rusty Brooks in a non-title match on Superstars. 1985"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Sadly, this video does not include the pre-match promo from Mr Brooks where claims he's "just thisclose (holds fingers very close together) to that World's championship belt". Rusty had talent, but well, you can see what he looks like (and what IS he wearing?). A lot of fun, nonetheless.

SOME PROMOS OF GOOD

A lot of people ask me, "where do you guys get the idea for your promos?"

I reply, "It's PRO WRESTLING."

They offer a blank look.

So here, are SOME WACKY WRESTLING PROMOS - good, terrible, good and terrible at the same time.



"JUMPING" JEFF FARMER





"BRUISER" BRIAN COX (he's ok....no he's not)




BROTHER MIDNIGHT & "SWEET DADDY" CADILLAC




BROTHER MIDNIGHT vs THE TULIP~!




KEN PATERA (watch Mean Gene laugh)




LEX LUGER (vs. a t-shirt)





JAKE ROBERTS (watch the interviewer recoil from his boozy breath)




AND... a look back at some of the highlights of THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR~!

British Bulldogs vs "Mr Electricity" Steve Regal & Rudy Diamond

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "WWF Tag-Team Champions Davey Boy Smith & the Dynamite Kid take on Rudy Diamond & Mr Electricity Steve Regal. 1986"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Steve Regal - the one the now William Regal took his name from - was a ring veteran, and was AWA world tag team champion only a few months before but now was "the guy that wrestles evenly with the stars before tagging in the sinker" in TV squash matches. He does do a terrific missed elbow. Cool finish to this one too.

George "the Animal" Steele vs Rick Bolton

George "The Animal" Steele vs. Rick Bolton

thejazzman32 | MySpace Video

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Here, is the original "George Steele dislocates the jobber's arm with his finisher, the Flying Hammerlock" match. The guy was double jointed. Also note the ref is Gilberto Roman, one of the funniest and best squash match refs of all time.

Greg "the Hammer" Valentine vs Rudy Diamond

DESCRIPTION FORM YOUTUBE: "Greg Valentine vs. Rudy Diamond from the WWF in 1984. Captain Lou Albano points out the color of the bottom of Diamond's feet."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Albano opines that Diamond, a dark-skinned man, "has been using the Clorox" on his pale feet. He should've used Mr. Muscle as Valentine demolishes him in a few short minutes. I need to track down the legendary Rudy Diamond-Paul Orndorff encounter....

The Tonga Kid vs Israel Matia

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "The Tonga Kid who would later go on to become Tama from the Islanders is up against ring veteran Israel Matia for this one on one clash."

COMMENT FROM YOUTUBE: Israel is one of those guys that always gets mentioned but there's very little footage of on the net. A few things to note 1. Ring announcer Joe McHugh's deliberate "pro-noun-ci-a-tion" 2. Matia's ring sweater 3. THE REFEREE'S TROUSERS.

Match consists of three headlocks and armdrag and a tackle. Almost as basic as a Creamy Assassin battle.

"Mr Wonderful" Paul Orndorff vs The Mohawk Kid

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Paul "Mr Wonderful" Orndorff Vs The Mohawk Kid"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Minutes of thought (at most) went into the creation of the Mohawk Kid. It took less time than that to destroy it.

British Bulldogs vs Les Thornton & Jack Foley

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Poor Mick couldn't eat solid food for several days after this match. This could be his first televised match as well"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: "Mick" being Mick Foley. And as we know from his home movies he was GCW from the get-go.

Ken Patera vs "Judo" Joe Black

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "This guy is so bad, it's funny!"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Judo Joe judiciously jogged on by juiced-up juggernaut. Also, note the fact that his sole expression of "I am in pain" is to briefly clasp his forehead, as though he's trying to solve a reasonably-difficult maths problem.

Ultimate Warrior vs Frenchy Martin

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "New York City, NY - Madison Square Garden - November 24, 1987 The Ultimate Warrior (Warrior's MSG debut) vs Frenchy Martin (sub. for Bob Orton Jr.)"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TURLY: Ultimate Warrior slams Frenchy Martin, wrestler, onto his shoulder, separating it and hence making us all have to endure Frenchy Martin, manager.

Nick Bockwinkel commentating on the Ultimate Warrior:

"Well, I would say he's a bit overdone, looks like Mr Hormel went a bit crazy stuffing his sausage - when he put this guy together - and didn't know when to stop."

Erik Watts' dropkick

At 3:58 you will see a vision from the almighty.

"Mr Wonderful" Paul Orndorff vs "Nasty" Ned Brady

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Main Event 6/10/1990- Paul Orndorff vs Ned Brady"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Nasty Ned kindly stopped off at the wrestling arena, on his way to a usual night of collecting debts and making sexist remarks at the local pool hall, to be pildriven into next week by Paul Orndorff. Nasty Ned also does the "turkey sell" at 0:38.

Demolition vs Sandy Beach & "Iron" Mike Sharpe

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Early Demolition Match. Sandy Beach and Mike Sharpe reduced to jobbers getting destroyed by Ax & Smash."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: I think I saw this match every week during my younger days.

Bruiser Brody vs. Nacho Berrera

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "AWA All Star Wrestling, May 1984"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: If you combined Elvis during his last days with Tattoo from Fantasy Island, you perhaps would come close to creating Nacho Berrera. Just look at the man. The jacket. The hair. The sideburns (it was 1984!). The physique. The winning attitude he displays. This man is ready to lose. At anything. Just as long as you pay him something for it.

Clearly, "Nacho Libre 2: Nacho Berrera" as a straight to DVD title is a missed opportunity.

Larry Cameron vs. Jake "the Milkman" Milliman

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "AWA Larry Cameron vs Jake 'Milkman' Milliman August11,1990"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: What a treat these two served up for my eleventh birthday. The Milkman is one of the greatest job guys ever, he looks like an unusually energetic trucker, has a haircut beyond the bounds of all common sense, and has approximately no chance of winning whatsoever, but keeps trying. Just the best. I think he needed a milk cart or even a bottle of milk to drink before the match, so that he had milk all through his ginger beard.

And it seems the AWA gave Larry Cameron "the Butcher" nickname - because he used to be a butcher. Wow. What a key for certain success amongst children. Why didn't DC call Superman "Reporterman" instead?

Crusher Blackwell vs "Sodbuster" Kenny Jay

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "AWA All Star Wrestling April 4 1982"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: You might think that Kenny was known as the "Sodbuster" due to some sort of football folklore, but it was actually because he dug up people's lawns. His other nickname was "The Very Capable Kenny Jay".

He once fought Muhammad Ali, and also gave the world this excellent quote after being honoured by the Cauliflower Alley Club:

" Being the first jabroni to be honored by the Cauliflower Alley Club is real exciting. It’s nice to be recognized by the boys. ”

— Kenny Jay

Crusher Blackwell also could throw a better dropkick than Hot Fist Hernahan.

Dennis Stamp vs Soldat Ustinov

As you can see Dennis is quite the character.




Here he is trying his utmost against Soldat Ustinov (one of Peter's more-aggresive relatives, perhaps), attempting to make the "Russian" look as devastating as possible. Dennis could wrestle, but he'll be remembered for his tramp-jumping for all eternity.

Tugboat Thomas vs Iron Mike Sharpe

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Debut of Fred Ottman."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: This was the debut~! of Tugboat. I remember being so excited, until the match began. At least Tuggy's dropkick is better than Iron Mike Sharpe's (1:30) which is only slightly higher off the ground than Hot Fist Hernahan's - although that one was off my mum's deck. Commentator Vince McMahon is certainly enjoying the "action" and you would be too if you had several thousand dollars to pay a grown man to dress up as a tugboat.

Giant Baba & Hiroshi Wajima vs. Rusher Kimuara & Colt Steele

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "1987"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: If you can stand to watch more than a minute of this, you're a braver man than I. Or just crazy. The "clubbering" is quite amusing until you sense that nobody in the match even cares. I became aware of this sense at the 45 second mark.

Okay, skip ahead to about 2:40, that bit's quite funny too.

Bret(t) Hart vs. Van Van Horne

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Bret Hart Vs Van Van Horne from 1988"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Mr Horne must have seen his name next to Bret's backstage and thought, "Man, that guy has a cool name, "The Hitman". But I think of one cooler! I'll add an extra Van on my name! Top that!" He then proceeded to get no offense in whatsoever.

Maybe he got confused with Van Van Car?




Ah, great game that.

Heroes Of Wrestling

BUSCHWACKERS vs IRON SHEIK & NIKOLAI VOLKOFF


DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Part 11: Jake Roberts' antics may be the most memorable part of this show, but this match deserves just as much infamy, the legendary "-459 stars" match.

"Dave Meltzer, of Wrestling Observer Newsletter, gave this the number of absolute zero, which is like -459 or something. Bryan Alvarez, of Figure Four Weekly, gave it "minus more stars than there are stars in the universe, and the universe is infinite"."

PART 2


COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: There's a drinking game for this match. You don't have to drink when you see something that looks like it hurt.

JAKE ROBERTS INTERVIEW


DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Part 22: Yeah, you may have heard of this bit.."

JIM 'THE ANVIL' NEIDHART vs JAKE 'THE SNAKE' ROBERTS then ends up being JIM 'THE ANVIL' NEIDHART & KING KONG BUNDY vs JAKE 'THE SNAKE' ROBERTS & YOKOZUNA





DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "The title should probably involve Yokozuna and King Kong Bundy too.

Witness the hilarity of substance abuse in all it's glory...

The PPV just ended (or more likely, the Director screamed "Fade to black! Fade to black!!" as Jake motioned to pull his tights down)."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Jake's had a few, but he's sweet.

Al Snow fights himself

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "No one has ever accused Al Snow of being completely sane (or insane for some of you). Take this "match" for example"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Still better than some GCW matches with 2, 3 or 4 people in them.

Bradshaw & Trish Stratus vs Chris Nowinski & Jackie Gayda

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Raw tag match"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Amazing. This might be more GCW than GCW could ever be. Jackie didn't know a thing, got nervous, which compounded her inability, meaning she just kept making mistake after mistake.

If you can't bear to watch the whole thing, here are the highlights, grimly condensed into 35 seconds:

Hiroshi Wajima vs Tom Magee

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Tom Magee is the guy mentioned in Bret Hart's book. Great look but horrible worker."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Bret Hart made Tom Magee look like a million bucks and thus the WWF thought they had the next big thing to follow Hulk Hogan. But they soon realised they didn't. Mr Magee had a great physique, and agility, but overall gave the impression of a camp Connan. This match makes him look even worse because he's wrestling an ex-Sumo old Japanese guy who has been taught not to sell anything that doesn't look believeable. So he doesn't sell a thing, then ends the match about 2 minutes in. This won "Worst match of the year" back in 1988. It is less entertaining than every Big Jobs match.

Magnificent Muraco vs Marshall Bovee

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Don 'Magnificent' Muraco w/ Capt Lou Albano vs Marshall Bovee. Gotta love the 'Non Title' Bout mention, as if this made the match more pertinent. LOL

Another match is from what I call my 'Forgotten Jobber Collection". You always hear about Frankie Williams, Charlie Fulton, Mac Rivera, and others. But Marshall Bovee?!!!! His haircut alone deserved to be Tombstoned by Don Muraco off the top of a building.

Taped this myself back in '83 and is another of my favorite 'Jobber' matches. Some these days think they are being polite by using the term 'enhancement talent'. Marshall Bovee is a jobber. Don Muraco though, my favorite IC Champion of all time."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Marcial Bovee worked in several smaller places as a manager and wrestler, I think he even won some sort of championship. Imagine paying money to see that.

Don Muraco was just the best though.

Bad News Brown vs Steve Reese

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Superstars of Wrestling (January 28, 1989)

That jobber must be the worst ever in history of professional wrestling. He turn is back on Bad News Brown at the beginning. What an idiot! Someone was right in the comments at 1:35 he yells HELP ME!

If that wasn't enough for the poor guy, Vince McMahon & Jesse The Body makes fun of him during the whole match.

That was is first and last appearance on a WWF show."


COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Mr Reese starts out with a thumbs up and a cheery wink. Seconds later he is wailing like a lonely cat. Despite not having to do anything, he becomes lost and disorientated. A truly entertaining video for the entire 2:12.