The Ballad of Keith Larson

"Hello, i'll be losing this evening."

Peter Maivia vs Sylvano Sousa's haircut

COMMENT FROM YOUTUBE: "NO CONEST"

I mean, just look at it.




And the moment when he's announced, I don't think there's ever been a less enthusiastic recognition of one's own self, especially in the context of sports or show business.

Mr Perfect vs Scott Colton

WWF TV, 1989. An absolutely perfect squash match.

Koko B. Ware vs Tom Stone

"The Birdman" takes on perpetual underachiever Stone in a match that typified WWF Superstars of Wrestling. Koko busts out the Ghostbuster, the "baddest but never used on the baddest guys" signature move.

Superstar Billy Graham - the 80's

"Kung Fu" (a.k.a. Kxxx Fx, in that we dare not speak of this era) Superstar Billy Graham vs Jerry O:



YOUTUBE SEZ: "A Slimmed down Superstar Billy Graham takes on Jerry O from Championship Wrestling 1983"

Superstar Billy Graham vs Steve Lombardi



YOUTUBE SEZ: "Superstar Billy Graham makes a comeback against Steve Lombardi in 1987"

Road Warriors vs Ken Lucas & Zulu

At 2:54 you will see a beautiful GCW-like moment.

Jeep Swenson vs Jeff Raitz & Dusty Wolfe

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Massive Jeep Swenson dominates jobbers Jeff Raitz & Dusty Wolfe in a handicap match. Enjoy!"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Swenson died young. Raitz died young. Dusty Wolfe had a long career wrestling in many countries, usually on the losing end. So it's not all bad.

BONUS! JEEP SWENSON BATTLES RISING GAS PRICES AND ENGINE MANAGEMENT IN THIS AD:

Mulkeymania~! feat. Bill & Randy Mulkey vs The Gladiators

First, a promo from one of the legendary managers, James E. Cornette....



DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "August 8, 1987 from World Championship Wrestling - Jim Cornette and his Midnight Express take the podium to express their contempt for the Mulkey Brothers, who have managed to secure a match for the NWA United States Tag Team Titles. Actually, Cornette does all the talking while Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane stand between him and camera congratulating each other."


And now, one of those very rare moments in the life of "those guys that never win" that people remember for decades afterward:



One day the Creamy Assassin or Perky Birky the Bricklaying Turkey might even win too.

Big John Studd vs Mitch Casey

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "1989. One of Studds last WWF matches."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Mitch Casey may not be preserved in history the way Iron Mike Sharpe, Barry Horowitz, Sandy Beach, et al have been, but this guy showed up on my TV set pretty much every week during my years of watching Superstars of Wrestling. Being a younger fellow, he had a look of hope in his eye before every match, in which he was squashed like a grape. I wonder what ever happened to him?

Hulk Hogan vs Rusty Brooks

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "WWF Champion takes on Rusty Brooks in a non-title match on Superstars. 1985"

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Sadly, this video does not include the pre-match promo from Mr Brooks where claims he's "just thisclose (holds fingers very close together) to that World's championship belt". Rusty had talent, but well, you can see what he looks like (and what IS he wearing?). A lot of fun, nonetheless.

Greg "the Hammer" Valentine vs Rudy Diamond

DESCRIPTION FORM YOUTUBE: "Greg Valentine vs. Rudy Diamond from the WWF in 1984. Captain Lou Albano points out the color of the bottom of Diamond's feet."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: Albano opines that Diamond, a dark-skinned man, "has been using the Clorox" on his pale feet. He should've used Mr. Muscle as Valentine demolishes him in a few short minutes. I need to track down the legendary Rudy Diamond-Paul Orndorff encounter....

The Tonga Kid vs Israel Matia

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "The Tonga Kid who would later go on to become Tama from the Islanders is up against ring veteran Israel Matia for this one on one clash."

COMMENT FROM YOUTUBE: Israel is one of those guys that always gets mentioned but there's very little footage of on the net. A few things to note 1. Ring announcer Joe McHugh's deliberate "pro-noun-ci-a-tion" 2. Matia's ring sweater 3. THE REFEREE'S TROUSERS.

Match consists of three headlocks and armdrag and a tackle. Almost as basic as a Creamy Assassin battle.

Demolition vs Sandy Beach & "Iron" Mike Sharpe

DESCRIPTION FROM YOUTUBE: "Early Demolition Match. Sandy Beach and Mike Sharpe reduced to jobbers getting destroyed by Ax & Smash."

COMMENT FROM YOURS TRULY: I think I saw this match every week during my younger days.